In writing the introduction
to the Sun-Times' annual roundup of new Christmas recordings, I always feel
obliged to note that, contrary to what some readers might think, those of us
on the paper's music beat do not rival the Grinch for having hearts that are
four sizes too small.
It's just that my colleagues and I value good music -- especially during
the holidays, when there's a canon of great tunes dating back centuries --
and we see no reason to let our critical standards slip in the name of
yuletide cheer.
In fact, nothing short of Aunt Mildred's fruitcake or Uncle Irving's
eggnog ruins a festive gathering quicker than mediocre holiday tunes on the
stereo.
What do we value in our Christmas sounds? Originality. (There is very
little need for the umpteenth lackluster version of "The First Noel.")
Passion. Personality. Basically, the same traits that fuel the music we love
all year round.
New Christmas classics are rare indeed, as you'll see from the paucity of
four-Christmas star ratings in the reviews that follow. Thankfully, though,
the really cool yuletime tunes never go out of style. ("A Christmas Gift for
You from Phil Spector" remains my own No. 1 top choice, despite the current
travails of the man who crafted it.)
With that in mind, here's how this season's new Xmas offerings stack up.
Pop Music
* ** 1/2
JETHRO TULL, "THE JETHRO TULL CHRISTMAS ALBUM" (FUEL 2000)
Ian Anderson and his band of merry rogues already have crafted two cool
Christmas ditties during their long career ("Christmas Song" and "Ring Out
Solstice Bells"), but their medieval madrigals-meet-jolly-folk-rockers
shtick fits the holiday season so well, it's no surprise that their first
full-length Christmas offering is the pick of this season's pop offerings.
(Hard-core fans are even saying it's Tull's best album since 1987's "Crest
of a Knave.") The 14 tracks include new versions of old Tull songs
("Solstice Bells" and "Bouree"), as well as ditties from the Christmas
canon, and it's the instrumentals that really shine, replete with jangly
acoustic guitar, fluttering flute and tinkling glockenspiel.
*
VARIOUS ARTISTS, "AMERICAN IDOL: THE GREAT HOLIDAY CLASSICS" (RCA)
Clay Aiken aside, fame has been fleeting for many of the "American Idol"
graduates: Last season's Justin Guarini already has been booted from his
recording contract. This overproduced, oversung collection of overly
familiar tunes finds Justin, Clay, Ruben and the gang crooning 10 of the
most tired of tired standards. It won't give anyone reason to reconsider any
of these performers, including Kelly Clarkson, who inexplicably ranks a
second bonus disc all her own featuring just two songs, "Oh, Holy Night" and
"My Grown Up Christmas List." If only Paris Hilton or the Bachelor had made
a Christmas album.
* 1/2
THE MOODY BLUES, "DECEMBER" (UNIVERSAL)
On paper, the Moody Blues' symphonic rock should have yielded a fine
Christmas effort, but these classic rockers don't fare nearly as well as
their peers in Jethro Tull. The originals are mired down in the saccharine
melodies and leaden tempos that have marred the band's output for going on
two decades now, and the pretensions are thick on the cover of John Lennon's
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)," a Bach piece that has been rewritten with new
lyrics and a maudlin musing on political strife in the Middle East. Bah,
humbug!
* 1/2
VARIOUS ARTISTS, "MAYBE THIS CHRISTMAS, TOO?" (NETTWERK)
Like last year's first installment of this series, there's little rhyme
or reason behind the artists collected here, and the quality of the tracks
is wildly inconsistent. There are a few highlights, among them Rufus
Wainwright's "Spotlight on Christmas" and the Flaming Lips' typically
twisted, theremin-enhanced version of "White Christmas." But there are even
more head-scratchers (why is the previously released "Christmas Song" by the
Dave Matthews Band included?) and downright stinkers (the nadir: Avril
Lavigne's squeaky, out-of-tune reading of "O Holy Night"). Find the good
tracks on the Net (but beware of those anti-downloading Scrooges!) and skip
the rest.
* **
VARIOUS ARTISTS, "A SANTA CAUSE" (IMMORTAL)
Nothing says "Christmas" quite like a bunch of young punks getting juiced
on cider, running around the Christmas tree and breaking all the ornaments.
Wonderfully snotty and buzzsaw-driven from start to finish, highlights of
this tuneful punk compilation include Chicago's Fall Out Boy paying homage
to "A Christmas Story" with a ditty called "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out," the
Deftones' Chino Moreno crooning that '80s classic, "Feed the World (Do They
Know It's Christmas"), and the A.K.A.'s kicking things off with a ferocious
cover of Run-DMC's "Christmas in Hollis."
** 1/2
VARIOUS ARTISTS, "THE AMERICAN SONG-POEM CHRISTMAS: DADDY, IS SANTA
REALLY SIX FOOT FOUR?" (BAR NONE)
Maintaining an irreverent spirit for a moment, we find this endearingly
odd compilation of "song-poems," vanity recordings by would-be songwriters
who paid studio musicians at D.I.Y. "hit factories" to record their odd
originals in the hope that they might strike gold with the next "Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer." The offerings from these unknown and
long-since-forgotten amateurs find Santa arriving atop a nuclear missile,
shocking dad by making out with mom in the living room, and updating his
ride by exchanging his sleigh for a UFO in "Santa Claus Goes Modern." Some
of these old vinyl pressings make for rough listening, but they hold your
interest, thanks to sheer weirdness alone.
* *
WHITNEY HOUSTON, "ONE WISH: THE HOLIDAY ALBUM" (ARISTA)
Pairing the golden-throated, gospel-trained diva with a set of holiday
standards ranging from "The First Noel" to "Joy to the World" is a
no-brainer, and Houston does her best to soar through the material, rising
above even the sterile production. This won't be the comeback set that fans
have been longing for, but given her troubled personal life of late, it's
nice just to hear that she can still belt one out with feeling and vocal
precision.
*
ASHANTI, "CHRISTMAS ALBUM" (DEF JAM)
This rising R&B phenom is no Whitney Houston (though, granted, she's no
Jennifer Lopez, either), and she brings nothing new or inspired to this
quickie Christmas cash-in, which clocks in at less than 30 minutes and is
dominated with seven out of 10 songs by hoary chestnuts such as "Joy to the
World," "Winter Wonderland" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." No thanks.
*
DIGITAL ACTIVITY, "XMAS VOL. 1" (DIGITAL ACTIVITY MEDIA)
Mannheim Steamroller's synthesized Christmas carols remain one of the
biggest success stories in holiday music from the last few decades, and
every year brings a new imitator or three. Digital Activity is Geoff Western
dishing up computer instrumental versions of "Jingle Bells," "Home for the
Holidays," "Let It Snow" and the like. It's a step above shopping-mall Muzak,
but only a very small, elf-sized step.
* 1/2
THE MOODY BLUES, "DECEMBER" (UNIVERSAL)
On paper, the Moody Blues' symphonic rock should have yielded a fine
Christmas effort, but these classic rockers don't fare nearly as well as
their peers in Jethro Tull. The originals are mired down in the saccharine
melodies and leaden tempos that have marred the band's output for going on
two decades now, and the pretensions are thick on the cover of John Lennon's
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)," a Bach piece that has been rewritten with new
lyrics and a maudlin musing on political strife in the Middle East. Bah,
humbug!
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